a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
