So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
