thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You are a genius and a whore.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
