Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
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