omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
