We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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