thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
