I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
