ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
