Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
