If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
