you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
