Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i wish my penis had a tongue
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
