we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
