are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I am naked and annoyed.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
