mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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