So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
