You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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