I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
