Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
