white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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