i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
