only if we run a train.
done.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
