The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
