well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
