I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
