i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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