At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
