he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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