Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
