I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Randomize
