You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
