My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
