so explain again why im purple
no
Please, let me fuck your mom
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
