summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
