theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
