I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize