What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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