I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
