everyone is single if you try hard enough
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
