Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
