You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
