Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We are two peas in an std pod
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
