I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
