is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
