You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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