i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
