You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
