Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
