I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
