I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
