Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
