yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
