Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
