i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
