wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
