My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
