Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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