he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
